i’m worried sick about the consequences of always being worried sick; when i ask you how you are, “you don’t want to know”
don’t worry about it, don’t think too hard; we’ve been losing our minds from the start, and i know it’s all my fault, i can’t take much more
my body’s fighting back against what my thoughts are doing inside my head; there’s a burning in my chest, a hole through my heart
but my mind remains without a scratch, and you’re wrong if you believe you can reverse the doubts i’ve had since we’ve grown apart
so i force all my emotions out ‘til i forget what i’m pissed about but no matter what i blame it on myself
and when i find some evidence that it wasn’t in fact my offense, i refuse to let it change what’s in my head

i shut my eyes to make sure i go blind
just because i don’t have a better reason doesn’t translate into yours being right
i know my feelings aren’t healthy, at least i only feel this way towards myself

and i’ve got too many questions that no one ever wants to answer and then it’s always left to me to run through my mind
and the sequence keeps repeating until i wish i could stop breathing in such a way that i don’t leave a thing behind
because the last thing that i want to make is a mess you’ll have to clean someday; i’d rather end in whispers, not a bang
so i ask myself why i sing so loud if no one needs to hear about how i wish i didn’t make you take this weight

i love a man who could love his men and know anyone could end with him; a morbid concept, maybe, but it’s not wrong
you know i love my family and everything they’ve given me but still i feel that i don’t quite belong
i know i have a tendency to see the bitter side of things but i know, i know, sometimes things are great
so i’ll end the things inside my head that i can’t reconcile myself; if i don’t deserve it, who else is there to blame?